Someone speaking at church today said we all need help if we are going to finish our race. That idea got me to thinking about my own story and how hard it was for me to admit I needed help, then to be able to actually accept it...
I had learned to do things on my own, to be self sufficient, to not tell anyone what was really going on. I didn't want anyone to know I was hurting and broken, so there was no way I was asking for help. I put on a smiling face every day at work, and every Sunday at church so that no one had any idea what was really going on. I truly thought I didn't need any help. I had it all under control. Then my world feel apart, my "warts" were exposed. My family and my friends knew what I had been hiding for years. At first, everyone offered to help. They offered to babysit, or offered to chat, or offered to help at the house, or offered a meal....but then eventually everyone else went back to their regular lives, and I was left on my own again.
I had to figure out how to keep going, and without any help really. I had a very rigid schedule, so that we got everything done. I had a plan. Things were in a specific order, so that I could keep my life in check. At this point no one even asked if they could help anymore. They were either afraid that I would say yes....or they were not sure how to even talk to me anymore. I was broken, and no one knew how to help. I didn't even consider asking for help anymore. Everyone had an opinion about how I should do things, and wasn't afraid to voice that opinion....but no one wanted to step up and truly help.
The girls and I had a system. I'll say I dated and talked to guys, but I never really let them close to me. I kept them at arms length too. I had been hurt too much. I wasn't going to allow that to happen again. I didn't need anyone. And then....life changed. I met Dean, and he wasn't going to let me do it alone. Honestly, it's still something we struggle with daily. My asking for help, and then allowing him to actually help and in his own way. I didn't like feeling vulnerable enough to need help. I was strong willed, and hard headed. Still am most days. Some days in fact he has to make me let him help me. It's true!
The time that finally broke me was when I had to have back surgery last summer. I had no choice but to let him help me. I was out of work for 6 weeks, and was completely down for at least 2 weeks. I had to rely on Dean to help me with even the littlest things. I had to slow down, put my pride aside, and ask for help even if I didn't want to.
But here's the key part....help is two sided. First, you have to be willing to ask for help. And then, you have to freely give it when asked. This goes back to my point of a true church family. I should trust my church family enough to ask them if there is something I need help with. But at the same time, my church family should know me well enough to see when I need help even if I don't ask. Then be ready to help at the drop of a hat. Again, THAT is truly sharing the love of Christ, lending a helping hand any time it's needed.
Proverbs 3:27-28(NLT) "Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it's in your power to help them. If you can help your neighbor now, don't say, "Come back tomorrow, and then I'll help you.""
Proverbs 17:17(NLT) "A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in a time of need."
Ephesians 4:16 (NLT) "He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love."
Sunday, July 6, 2014
Saturday, July 5, 2014
I don't want to be unproductive
There was one verse that just jumped off the page to me today in Titus 3. Take a look with me at verse 14...
"Our people must learn to do good by meeting the urgent needs of others; then they will not be unproductive." (NLT)
If I'm not doing something that will benefit someone else, then according to this verse I am then not being productive. So when we sit around on our behinds at church, being comfortable, singing the same old songs, and staying with just us four and no more...we're not being all we are called to be.
So many people run to the government for help when they are in need...THAT'S WHAT THE CHURCH SHOULD BE FOR!!! Being the church is not about a service on Sunday morning, it's about DOING something for the kingdom the rest of the week. There are so many options, how can we not find one thing that we can do for our community.
Volunteer at a local food pantry.
Do a donation drive for a local non profit.
Give an offering to a charity.
Be a mentor.
Volunteer at a school.
Help clean up a neighbor's yard.
Cook a meal for a family in need.
Just get involved. Be a resource. Be available. Don't be too busy to be helpful.
NIV version says all should "devote themselves to doing what is good"....and what is better than showing other people the love of Christ?? In the end that's what it's all about...not a meal, or a roll of toilet paper, an hour of your time, or an afternoon of counseling....it's just about loving on His children.
"Our people must learn to do good by meeting the urgent needs of others; then they will not be unproductive." (NLT)
If I'm not doing something that will benefit someone else, then according to this verse I am then not being productive. So when we sit around on our behinds at church, being comfortable, singing the same old songs, and staying with just us four and no more...we're not being all we are called to be.
So many people run to the government for help when they are in need...THAT'S WHAT THE CHURCH SHOULD BE FOR!!! Being the church is not about a service on Sunday morning, it's about DOING something for the kingdom the rest of the week. There are so many options, how can we not find one thing that we can do for our community.
Volunteer at a local food pantry.
Do a donation drive for a local non profit.
Give an offering to a charity.
Be a mentor.
Volunteer at a school.
Help clean up a neighbor's yard.
Cook a meal for a family in need.
Just get involved. Be a resource. Be available. Don't be too busy to be helpful.
NIV version says all should "devote themselves to doing what is good"....and what is better than showing other people the love of Christ?? In the end that's what it's all about...not a meal, or a roll of toilet paper, an hour of your time, or an afternoon of counseling....it's just about loving on His children.
Thursday, July 3, 2014
2nd dose of Titus
In today's society, there are lots of traits that are now considered old fashioned, or not even necessary. But I believe there is no such thing. Common courtesy and respect is no longer a requirement in many households. Kids act as if they are entitled to everything the world has to offer. Which is partially ok, they should believe that they can have or do anything they want in this world....but there's a big IF at the end of that statement....IF they are willing to work for it, and IF they are willing to live by God's ways. You can't just do whatever you want, and act however you want, and then get everything you feel like you deserve. It just doesn't work that way. "What goes around comes around" are "you get what you give" and "you catch more flies with honey than vinegar" have all been around forever, but in my mind still ring true today.
In Titus 2, Paul mentions many of these traits that seem to go more and more by the wayside every day. Let's take a look at a few that really jumped off the page to me....
Verse 2 talks about 2 that are HUGE in my opinion....self-control and being worthy of respect. Real zingers, right?! If more people acted with self control in today's world, what a different place it would be. I try to instill in our girls the idea that they shouldn't need me to always say "that's not a good idea". At a certain point they should be able to say, I beat this is a bad idea, maybe I shouldn't do that. And they are starting to understand that. They're not prefect, they make mistakes and need reminding, but they are learning. It amazes me how many adults can't say the same. Having self control could literally change the world. Knowing their own hot buttons and then realizing how to avoid them could greatly affect someone's life. Don't you think? Exercising self control is not in the normal human nature though. It has to be a conscious choice that we make every day. Deserving respect sort of goes hand in hand with that, doesn't it? A friend of mine used to always tell their kids "act like you are somebody". If you want respect, act like you are the type of person who deserves it. Bottom line is be someone who gives respect to be worthy of respect. Are you always going to get it back in return from the person you gave it to? Nope, but so what, doesn't matter, you should still give it. Act like you deserve the respect you desire by showing it to everyone you come in contact with.
Paul then talks about how the older woman should take younger women under their wings. To teach them how to live a life that is worthy and honors God. To show them how to love their husbands and their children in the right way. How to take care of their homes, and their families, and to not bring shame on the word of God. Does this happen today? I don't think it does. Everyone is so "busy", we always seem to miss out on what I believe should be a huge part of our churches today. We use the term "church family" very freely, but do we really live that way? Church should be a place where we can all learn from each other, and not just on Sunday, and not just about church stuff. People know how to behave in church....they need to know what to do the rest of the week! When you get home and the kids start acting like they have lost their minds, that's when you need to know how to act, how to still be a Christian mother and wife. You need someone to show you how to be able to still be salt and light in your household when you feel like the walls are caving in and everyone in your house has gone completely bonkers! Church is about every day relationships, not just corporate worship on Sunday morning. So many women are longing for someone to just come along side of them, to stand in the gap with them, to support them, to show them the way. If we are going to say this is our church family, then we have to start acting like we truly mean it. Verse 7 says it very clearly, "be an example to them by doing good works of EVERY kind".
Look at part of verse 12 & 13 with me, "We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness, and devotion to God, while we look foward with hope to that wonderful day when the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, will be revealed." (NLT) If I choose to live with wisdom (knowing better) and righteousness (doing what's right) and devotion to God (being worthy of His Word), how many others could I reach for Christ with my example? By just being who I am called to be?
In Titus 2, Paul mentions many of these traits that seem to go more and more by the wayside every day. Let's take a look at a few that really jumped off the page to me....
Verse 2 talks about 2 that are HUGE in my opinion....self-control and being worthy of respect. Real zingers, right?! If more people acted with self control in today's world, what a different place it would be. I try to instill in our girls the idea that they shouldn't need me to always say "that's not a good idea". At a certain point they should be able to say, I beat this is a bad idea, maybe I shouldn't do that. And they are starting to understand that. They're not prefect, they make mistakes and need reminding, but they are learning. It amazes me how many adults can't say the same. Having self control could literally change the world. Knowing their own hot buttons and then realizing how to avoid them could greatly affect someone's life. Don't you think? Exercising self control is not in the normal human nature though. It has to be a conscious choice that we make every day. Deserving respect sort of goes hand in hand with that, doesn't it? A friend of mine used to always tell their kids "act like you are somebody". If you want respect, act like you are the type of person who deserves it. Bottom line is be someone who gives respect to be worthy of respect. Are you always going to get it back in return from the person you gave it to? Nope, but so what, doesn't matter, you should still give it. Act like you deserve the respect you desire by showing it to everyone you come in contact with.
Paul then talks about how the older woman should take younger women under their wings. To teach them how to live a life that is worthy and honors God. To show them how to love their husbands and their children in the right way. How to take care of their homes, and their families, and to not bring shame on the word of God. Does this happen today? I don't think it does. Everyone is so "busy", we always seem to miss out on what I believe should be a huge part of our churches today. We use the term "church family" very freely, but do we really live that way? Church should be a place where we can all learn from each other, and not just on Sunday, and not just about church stuff. People know how to behave in church....they need to know what to do the rest of the week! When you get home and the kids start acting like they have lost their minds, that's when you need to know how to act, how to still be a Christian mother and wife. You need someone to show you how to be able to still be salt and light in your household when you feel like the walls are caving in and everyone in your house has gone completely bonkers! Church is about every day relationships, not just corporate worship on Sunday morning. So many women are longing for someone to just come along side of them, to stand in the gap with them, to support them, to show them the way. If we are going to say this is our church family, then we have to start acting like we truly mean it. Verse 7 says it very clearly, "be an example to them by doing good works of EVERY kind".
Look at part of verse 12 & 13 with me, "We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness, and devotion to God, while we look foward with hope to that wonderful day when the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, will be revealed." (NLT) If I choose to live with wisdom (knowing better) and righteousness (doing what's right) and devotion to God (being worthy of His Word), how many others could I reach for Christ with my example? By just being who I am called to be?
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Back in the saddle
So for a while I have felt the gentle tug to start writing again. Even felt a slight nudge to start with a few blogs about the book of Titus. Been then today I got the swift kick in the bootie to get started. I went to have lunch with Dean today, and walked into his office. Meet a very nice lady that I knew of by name, but never met her face to face. The first thing she said when Dean introduced me was how much she loved reading my blog, and hadn't been able to read it in a while. The Holy Spirit really convicted me about not writing and sharing in a long time....so here I am. :) My entire goal is to show other women that we can make mistakes, have a hard time, even get mad, but at the end of the day we still have an unconditional love from God that can ease all our hearth aches, fears, and pains. So here we go again.....
There are soooo many good nuggets to talk about just in the first few verses of Titus!!! There's one main point to the entire chapter, but here are a few little aside points that I gotta mention first (and I won't even charge you extra. LOL!)
In the very first few words in the NLT version, Paul says he is "a slave of God". Oh wow! Isn't that an awesome thought? I have to say I don't always put myself in that position with God, even if I want to. To do whatever He says, whenever He says, however He says to do it. I would love to be so in tune with His voice that I could even attempt to do that. Then to be willing to do it no questions asked. Not going to lie, that's a toughie.
Then in verse 2, Paul slips in a little extra bit too...He talks about having the confidence that they have eternal life because God promised it before the world began. But he slides in there....oh yeah, by the way, He doesn't lie. LOVE IT!!!! I hate that we have to be reminded of that sometimes, but I am so happy that Paul took a moment to remind us again. I know for me if God makes me a promise, and He doesn't fulfill it right away, I assume that means it's not going to happen. We all know what assuming does, right? I always felt if it didn't happen in the way I wanted, or in the time I expected, it just wasn't going to happen at all. Well...
GOD DOESN'T LIE....EVER! It's not in His nature. It's sin, and He has no sin. I just have to be patient and trusting enough to know that He will stay true to His word, ALWAYS!
And there's a doozey in verse 3 too that I love!! Paul says "It is by the command of God our Savior that I have been entrusted with this work for Him." First of all, it's a command that I spread the word....but I love that he also says that God ENTRUSTED me with such important work too. Bottom line is someone's eternal life depends on me being willing to open my mouth and share what God has done in my life. That's all. I don't have to be a scholar, or an amazing writer, or a wonderful speaker...I just have to be me, and tell my story.
Now on to the main point....and it can be summed up in just a few words....you can't just talk the talk, you gotta walk the walk. If I tell all my friends they have to follow Jesus and do what's right and turn away from sin.....but then I bad talk about my husband during lunch, or cuss like a sailor, or drive like a maniac and flip people the bird, or hang out at the bar Saturday night and miss church Sunday morning....my testimony is SHOT! They think if I supposedly "have Jesus" and still act like that, I don't look any different than them. So why would they want to change? WORDS ARE CHEAP! The world has to see something different in me....in my walk, my voice, my tone, my attitude, my words, my demeanor. If Jesus truly fills me, then it should be bubbling over in me so much that people can't help but see Him in me. Then they will want to see what all the fuss is about. Why is she so happy all the time? Why is she always talking about being blessed? Why does she always have a spring in her step and a smile on her face? Then when they ask me....I only have to say one word....JESUS!!! Actions ALWAYS speak louder than words ever could.
Titus 1:16 (NLT) "Such people claim they know God, but they deny Him by the way they live. They are detestable and disobedient, worthless for doing anything good."
even better version....
Titus 1:16 (MSG) "They say they know God, but their actions speak louder than their words. They're real creeps, disobedient good-for-nothings."
OUCH!! I don't want to be that kind of Christian. I want people to know me and my God because of who I am through Him, not just what I say I am.
There are soooo many good nuggets to talk about just in the first few verses of Titus!!! There's one main point to the entire chapter, but here are a few little aside points that I gotta mention first (and I won't even charge you extra. LOL!)
In the very first few words in the NLT version, Paul says he is "a slave of God". Oh wow! Isn't that an awesome thought? I have to say I don't always put myself in that position with God, even if I want to. To do whatever He says, whenever He says, however He says to do it. I would love to be so in tune with His voice that I could even attempt to do that. Then to be willing to do it no questions asked. Not going to lie, that's a toughie.
Then in verse 2, Paul slips in a little extra bit too...He talks about having the confidence that they have eternal life because God promised it before the world began. But he slides in there....oh yeah, by the way, He doesn't lie. LOVE IT!!!! I hate that we have to be reminded of that sometimes, but I am so happy that Paul took a moment to remind us again. I know for me if God makes me a promise, and He doesn't fulfill it right away, I assume that means it's not going to happen. We all know what assuming does, right? I always felt if it didn't happen in the way I wanted, or in the time I expected, it just wasn't going to happen at all. Well...
GOD DOESN'T LIE....EVER! It's not in His nature. It's sin, and He has no sin. I just have to be patient and trusting enough to know that He will stay true to His word, ALWAYS!
And there's a doozey in verse 3 too that I love!! Paul says "It is by the command of God our Savior that I have been entrusted with this work for Him." First of all, it's a command that I spread the word....but I love that he also says that God ENTRUSTED me with such important work too. Bottom line is someone's eternal life depends on me being willing to open my mouth and share what God has done in my life. That's all. I don't have to be a scholar, or an amazing writer, or a wonderful speaker...I just have to be me, and tell my story.
Now on to the main point....and it can be summed up in just a few words....you can't just talk the talk, you gotta walk the walk. If I tell all my friends they have to follow Jesus and do what's right and turn away from sin.....but then I bad talk about my husband during lunch, or cuss like a sailor, or drive like a maniac and flip people the bird, or hang out at the bar Saturday night and miss church Sunday morning....my testimony is SHOT! They think if I supposedly "have Jesus" and still act like that, I don't look any different than them. So why would they want to change? WORDS ARE CHEAP! The world has to see something different in me....in my walk, my voice, my tone, my attitude, my words, my demeanor. If Jesus truly fills me, then it should be bubbling over in me so much that people can't help but see Him in me. Then they will want to see what all the fuss is about. Why is she so happy all the time? Why is she always talking about being blessed? Why does she always have a spring in her step and a smile on her face? Then when they ask me....I only have to say one word....JESUS!!! Actions ALWAYS speak louder than words ever could.
Titus 1:16 (NLT) "Such people claim they know God, but they deny Him by the way they live. They are detestable and disobedient, worthless for doing anything good."
even better version....
Titus 1:16 (MSG) "They say they know God, but their actions speak louder than their words. They're real creeps, disobedient good-for-nothings."
OUCH!! I don't want to be that kind of Christian. I want people to know me and my God because of who I am through Him, not just what I say I am.
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