Everyone needs help

Someone speaking at church today said we all need help if we are going to finish our race. That idea got me to thinking about my own story and how hard it was for me to admit I needed help, then to be able to actually accept it...

 I had learned to do things on my own, to be self sufficient, to not tell anyone what was really going on. I didn't want anyone to know I was hurting and broken, so there was no way I was asking for help. I put on a smiling face every day at work, and every Sunday at church so that no one had any idea what was really going on.  I truly thought I didn't need any help. I had it all under control. Then my world feel apart, my "warts" were exposed. My family and my friends knew what I had been hiding for years. At first, everyone offered to help. They offered to babysit, or offered to chat, or offered to help at the house, or offered a meal....but then eventually everyone else went back to their regular lives, and I was left on my own again.
I had to figure out how to keep going, and without any help really. I had a very rigid schedule, so that we got everything done. I had a plan. Things were in a specific order, so that I could keep my life in check.  At this point no one even asked if they could help anymore. They were either afraid that I would say yes....or they were not sure how to even talk to me anymore. I was broken, and no one knew how to help. I didn't even consider asking for help anymore.  Everyone had an opinion about how I should do things, and wasn't afraid to voice that opinion....but no one wanted to step up and truly help.

The girls and I had a system. I'll say I dated and talked to guys, but I never really let them close to me. I kept them at arms length too. I had been hurt too much. I wasn't going to allow that to happen again. I didn't need anyone. And then....life changed. I met Dean, and he wasn't going to let me do it alone. Honestly, it's still something we struggle with daily. My asking for help, and then allowing him to actually help and in his own way.  I didn't like feeling vulnerable enough to need help. I was strong willed, and hard headed. Still am most days. Some days in fact he has to make me let him help me. It's true!

The time that finally broke me was when I had to have back surgery last summer. I had no choice but to let him help me. I was out of work for 6 weeks, and was completely down for at least 2 weeks. I had to rely on Dean to help me with even the littlest things. I had to slow down, put my pride aside, and ask for help even if I didn't want to.

But here's the key part....help is two sided. First, you have to be willing to ask for help. And then, you have to freely give it when asked. This goes back to my point of a true church family. I should trust my church family enough to ask them if there is something I need help with. But at the same time, my church family should know me well enough to see when I need help even if I don't ask. Then be ready to help at the drop of a hat.  Again, THAT is truly sharing the love of Christ, lending a helping hand any time it's needed.

Proverbs 3:27-28(NLT) "Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it's in your power to help them. If you can help your neighbor now, don't say, "Come back tomorrow, and then I'll help you.""

Proverbs 17:17(NLT) "A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in a time of need."

Ephesians 4:16 (NLT) "He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love."