I took a few days off from writing, but my loving hubby keeps encouraging me to finish the story. There are 3 reasons....First, we are going on vacation tomorrow, and I know I won't write while in Florida. Second, I need to finish the story because God is already giving me ideas for other things to write. Third, God has a plan for my writing, and I know that, so I need to keep pressing forward. So my plan is to write a few blogs today and post them all, including finishing my in depth look at Psalm 31 (my theme chapter for my testimony) and a final blog about my story.
Psalm 31:9-13
"Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief. My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak. Because of all my enemies, I am the utter contempt of my neighbors and an object of dread to my closest friends - those who see me on the street flee from me. I am forgotten as though I were dead; I have become broken like pottery. For I hear many whispering, "Terror on every side!" They conspire against me and plot to take my life."
WOW....this section almost makes me giggle. I can just picture God up in heaven looking down watching me wallering in my junk. Just having a little pity party all by myself. (and I did for quite a while!) He is sitting up there just waiting for me to be done. Wondering if I will get over myself, and let Him pull me out of the pit that life/circumstances/myself put me in. But we've all been there, haven't we? I know that I have. You take your eyes off Jesus and put them on your circumstances, and you lose your focus.There are some strong depressing words in those few verses."My life is CONSUMED by ANGUISH"...that's not just saying that I am a little sad, but consumed! And with anguish! That's a serious pity party. And look in the next sentence...my strength FAILS because of my affliction. What's that says to me is that I have taken my eyes so far off of Jesus (my STRENGTH) that I feel like it has left me because of my pain. That's just not possible! Jesus NEVERS leaves you....but I do believe that sometimes He will be quiet to give me time to get my focus back on the right things. I always go back to the fact that God is a gentleman, He is never going to push himself on me or anyone else for that matter. He is always there for us, but only if we want Him to be. I don't have to pull myself out of the pit...but I do have to stop feeling sorry for myself and look up to HIM, and then He will pull me out.
One sort of aside that I would like to say about this section is about friends and family along your path, and there are 2 parts to it. First, don't be so miserable in your mess that no one wants to be around you. I've been there, it's really not fun at all, just makes you feel that much more alone. The other side of that is if the people in your life aren't encouraging and trying to help you out of your pit....don't listen to them. Misery DOES NOT need company, it needs a true friend to love you out of that darkness. If you have people in your life that aren't trying to be a part of solution...then they aren't really your friends. Kick them out!
My favorite part of these verses is being broken like a piece of pottery. For so long I tried to hold all my pieces together by myself. I tried using every kind of glue that I could...food, music, my kids, dating, staying busy, work...but none of it really worked. Until the moment that I decided I couldn't hold my pieces together, and let them all fall on the floor like pieces of pottery...was God able to step in and really start putting me back together.
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